sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
