Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
