i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
