If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
