i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
