note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
time to smoke my breakfast
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
