I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
