in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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