so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm at about main and main street
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
