he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
