singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
