O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
