So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
