So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
