i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
