yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
