Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
