You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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