They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I intend to get homeless drunk
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize