Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
