I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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