Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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