So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
