Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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