I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
