Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
