it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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