Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
