ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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