idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
