Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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