i may or may not be watching the land before time
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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