So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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