I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
