yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
