So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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