I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
