sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
