How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
