Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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