shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
