forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i will never coherently bang her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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