First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
