I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
