I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
