She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
