I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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