I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
smell my finger.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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