i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
