Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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