I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think your dad took our porno
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
