dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
